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August 24, 2004
1:14 a.m.

haiku among other things [sic]

i'd just like to mention how thoughts can just get carried away with you. for instance, in the previous entry, i nearly wrote, "i am already such a fatalist." but then i stopped and thought about it and realized that i tend to whine on and on (in my head at least) about things that have already happened, and why didn't i do this, why didn't i do that? that makes me think that i am against the idea of fatalism, if only because it means that eventually i'll learn from my mistakes and start getting it right so that i won't have to bemoan everything. on the other hand, i might already be getting things right and i'm moaning for some other reason. i have to wonder if i'll always be such a baby. i had more to say but i totally forgot it.

the previous entry was highly edited and this one was not. that one seems a bit weightier, though.

let me boil this down some more (because i feel i am contradicting myself): i do believe it will be good for me to accept certain things, which will be a sort of partially fatalistic attitude. in fact, now that i think about it, since i tend to have a hard time accepting anything at all, i think i'd better learn to accept just about everything, and then once i know how to accept and how not to accept, i can start working out which to do as appropriate. sounds good in theory.


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