mixed signals, feelings, nuts
it's come to my attention that i don't write here often enough (to paraphrase, or to read between the lines at least), so here i am. of course, it was also directed to me (by the same person) to avoid the computer for a bit. alas. i fear i'm getting some mixed signals here.
i could also say that i'm getting mixed signals elsewhere (still regarding the same person, actually), but i know that i'm not really. i just want to read signals in where they're not.
welllll, maybe i really am getting those naughty ol' signals, but i know that they're just momentary lapses of willpower (here bereft of its traditional prefix, the "f" word). i personally would be more than happy to forget the existence of willpower for, say, five months. on the other hand, that would certainly make the sixth month mighty difficult. it would also make me want to say, "aww, screw it", and just pick up and tag along for months six, seven, eight, and so forth unto month infinity, which would presumably be far enough down the road that months just wouldn't cut it anymore and it would be necessary to resort to words like "year" and "decade" and "era". i might resort to "era" anyway, simply out of fond recollection.
are you still with me here? i feel i'm rambling on a touch. at any rate, i think i'm getting through to the person i'm talking about, which will in one case also be the person reading this.
(note for the super-slow: i'm talking about a girl. she'll read this. she's moving in five months. i'm not moving with her.)
so, as noted, here's a little entry in the diary. it just happened, as diary entries seem to. you know, mystery girl, you can read my diary but i can't read yours? how fair is that?
on the other hand, i have plenty of secret writings of my own. at this very moment, i'd be glad to let you read them, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea.
in fact, it's probably not a good idea to keep going on about all this, but it's on my mind. don't worry: i'm not depressed about it, it's just a thought. i get one of those every now and then. it'll pass.