sad sigh of a hopeless, helpless geek
sometimes i hate life and i feel like everything that i spend my time doing is a complete waste. i've spent untold hours, days, years improving my skills on the trumpet, and now i don't even touch it any more. i suppose those musical skills have transferred somewhat to the bass, to the guitar, even to the drums; but then, what good do those do, really?
but that's not even what makes me mad. i'm so angry and bitter because i spent a long time writing something for my website, and the computer suddenly froze up without warning. no response whatsoever, except to the power button.
i should have been prepared, because it happened to me last night. last night i wasn't writing anything, so it was just annoying, but tonight, knowing better, i hadn't even saved anything when it happened. i have been working with and using computers almost my entire life and i still cannot even do the most basic things that you can do to avoid this sort of problem. it would be so easy for me to lightheartedly tell someone, "save early, save often" in response to a dismal technological failure of this sort, and here i am on the receiving end, no better than those i would counsel in a benevolently superior manner.
i suppose that what makes it such a catastrophe is that i know i won't write it again. i might be able to, but i feel that it wouldn't be as good. i'm too tired to remember the first part very well - it's been a couple of hours since i started - and i was already not looking forward to finishing up the second part. it's very difficult for me to write for a long period of time because i'm constantly searching for the best word and grammar and voice and so forth. this is compounded by things that i write tending to feel long and look short. you know what i mean?
at any rate, i wrote this in notepad, saved it, and now i'm posting it. but do you even care about that?