whoa
man i'm angry. i've been spending a lot of time working on something and now i've found out that it may be pointless.
i suppose i could call this the story of my life. i'm tempted to. honestly, though, the story of my life is that i never finish anything. it's too easy to stop at the first obstacle, and it's very convenient that there've always been obstacles.
on the other hand, i can't blame myself for there being obstacles; i realize now that they are real. i thought perhaps that i just made them up in order to avoid committing to things. in fact, it seems now that there really are things that get in my way, and i've just been too lazy to deal with them.
i'm not afraid of commitment, i realize: i am afraid of confrontation.