bloodstains on the carpet
i can't seem to escape processes. i am enamored with the processes that we use to create. i think about the microphone rather than the song. i write a program to help me create rather than just creating.
is it evasion? i move the microphone to make the song sound better. if it is a good song, though, it doesn't matter how it sounds. why don't i just make the song better? and in spending the time writing the program, i never get around to using it. am i afraid that what i create will be worthless? am i afraid that my song won't reach anybody?
it's a dramatic irony, though, because i am still creating. i am creating a recording of a song; i am creating a program. then, my fears are moving from the original creation to the secondary. i can't even deal with the fear because it won't stand still.
this doesn't stop me, though. inspiration still strikes and i'm off again to fight the fears, and probably to face defeat again.
defeat doesn't mean that what i make is bad; it means that it's never complete.
lies can be the perfect paint
if they're never seen-- pedro the lion