wherein i do not mention irony once
ahem.
sometimes i get a bit carried away, sometimes i dwell on things and emotions begin to well up until they overflow and all perspective is lost.
i'm big on perspectives. i like to collect them.
had a very fruitful (and legume-y) dicussion today with an old friend who is also a beautiful new friend. also found a new favorite diary, the inimitable elipsis, who paradoxically writes in a very familiar manner, as if i've been unconsciously imitating his/her style all along. elipsis writes about the same kind of self-analysis and alteration that i am constantly going through, and the paradoxes of life that i was just discussing with my new-old friend over a plate of brisket.
does a bean have to make a conscious decision to split forth from its outer shell and start growing, or is that decision inherent in its nature and particular details? every seed is given light and water, but not every seed grows. why not? is the seed to be punished even though it can't help it? or can it help it?
well, there is only so far that a metaphor can go.
i've been reading essays on the anita hill-clarence thomas hearings and i want to write in a very fancy academic style now. it's distracting and kind of distressing to see such ivory-tower, self-gratifyingly rich prose coming out of my head. on the one hand, i'd like to believe that i have something so important to say that i can justify the decorative excesss, but on the other hand, i just don't have much of a sweet tooth for that stuff any more. it all sounds very pretentious and that's the last thing that i want to be.
now being cool, on the other hand, that's what i'm all about.