i am tired
i'm having a hard time right now feeling responsible for my audience. for instance, i thought that maybe i should write something to eclipse the depressing entry that's been sitting up as the front page, so that people won't keep looking at it and thinking that i'm depressed. however, i realized that i don't need to defend myself, and that anybody who's in the habit of reading diaries probably knows by now how narrow a view they give of their subject. if you don't know that, then i'm telling you: diaries are caricatures of the lives they depict. human beings are too complex and quicksilver to be honestly represented by a few words here and there. my internal dialogue is running almost nonstop for the entire time i'm awake; there's no way to sum that up.
the funny thing is that here i am writing a new entry, which will cover up the old one.
so anyway, seabeck played in dallas tonight. i was picked up before 11 in the morning, and just home a little while ago. we were only allowed half an hour to play. it seems insane to me that a band has to spend an entire day in preparation for thirty minutes of performing. we had no time to talk or to play all of the songs we had planned.
okay, no more complaining. for that matter, no more being awake.