and now?
the night is pregnant with possibility.
i'm a little stunned.
baffled.
i can't come to terms with the idea that i am valuable. how can i have value? i believe it in an abstract, logical way; but it still mystifies me in reality.
value? worth?
but this curiosity, this puzzlement, is like a prisoner's sudden freedom. maybe even a newborn's uncertainty at the world in general.
"i am free? what? i'm not even sure what that means. i can do what i want to? how is that possible?"
but don't get me wrong. i like this feeling. it's just a little bemusing.