it's all i've got
oh, ah, i feel like i'm such a failure as a human being in some basic way. i mean, people seem to like me, so i must be good in some ways, but it seems like i'm lacking some basic facility that most people have. it seems like my relationships rarely go beyond a certain point. it seems like people rarely even want to go with me beyond that point, and when somebody does, i make up a reason why it wouldn't be a good idea. what i don't understand is this: if i'm afraid of commitment or deep, serious, "meaningful" relationships with people, why do i still want them?
a friend of mine once told me that i seemed secretive, or private. i don't really intend to be, or want to be. sometimes it seems like i don't really even have anything important to share with people. it's like i'm a big goofy empty shell of a person with no concerns and worries except for the shallow ones that i can manufacture for myself.
i guess i'm overreacting. i always overreact.