what a surprise
so difficult to balance the desires of my heart and the need to avoid bothering other people. have i avoided relationships all this time just because i don't want to cause any trouble?
and for some reason i want to be involved in drama. most people seem to avoid it like the plague, but i find myself being jealous if there's something going on and i'm not involved.
well, okay, it's just drama with certain people. i would even want them to be mad at me, just because it means that they would notice me enough to have some sort of reaction. sometimes i feel like a piece of furniture that people love and adore and sit on while they're talking to the people that really matter to them.
i know, i'm probably overreacting. it's probably my own fault for not having the guts to get the attention that i want.
suddenly i sound like a four-year-old. that's not how i mean it, i think, but that's what it sounds like when i say it. hmm.
in other news, i'm being reminded of how bad a designer i am. i know how html and css work, but i just make boring layouts. i don't really know where to start with graphic design. i need to team up with somebody else.
life is too complicated. argh.