illusions cannot be wounded, for they have no flesh to wound
this means far more to me than it should. it isn't just about the person. it's about what happened to me. it's about competition and defeat. it's about masculinity. it's about my value, my worth.
it's also about being alone, and then not being alone, and then being alone again. it'd be better to have remained alone.
except that i was alone. i just mysteriously decided that i wasn't.
i've got a lot to learn about myself, and love, and people in general.
i've also got to get some sleep.