several things
are a drunkard's tears any less real than a sober man's?
i got onto the computer excited because i've come up with a name for the record label that we're starting in order to distribute the music that we're making and surrounded by. (i'll link to it once there's something to link to.) i'm tired now, though, and a little uncertain about the name. we've been debating it for so long, nothing seems right. but, it has to be something, and i think that in the end, anything will do.
names are not my only uncertainty. but i'm thinking too much. patience. need patience. need to remember the stab that got through my armor.
need not to surf while writing. i'm not just conveying already existing thoughts. i'm thinking through things as i go. surfing interrupts these thoughts.
on the other hand, it reveals the showmanship of the mood that i cast myself into to write about certain things.
life is composed of little base things like going to the bathroom and scratching and almost falling asleep when you shouldn't. it's in this same life that serious things like relationships happen. the tendency is to treat a relationship (for example) as something special and magical and not subject to the rules of life, and then not to mix that mindset up with the everyday scratching and burping mood, just like in movies. but relationships are just as base as toothpicks, and shouldn't be taken too much more seriously.
the difference is that a relationship involves another person who would be seriously hurt if you cast them aside as carelessly as a toothpick. how then to reconcile these two things?
a relationship can be compared to a possession; but, involving people, it has more value than any possession (or should, in my view). but a relationship can't be overreacted to, either. a significant other is still just a person. but, they may even become like a part of you in time.
this is too complicated. i don't know if i'll ever figure it out. that means, i think, that i need to stop thinking about it and just go with the flow.
i think i even have a flow to go with.