E - emotional rollercoaster
this morning i decided that i want to go to school somewhere, somewhere besides here. i don't know where yet or what to study, but i am just about certain that it's what i want to do.
i also need to work on just getting things done. i always talk to people about doing stuff -- "i'd like to record you guys", for instance -- but then i don't even get their phone number or make any further plans.
speaking of recording i've realized that it's no longer a specialized field. it's beoming one of those things that people do, just like working on cars or playing guitar. so, just being capable of recording isn't really anything special. if i want to be able to record people i've got to be good at it.
but i also have to re-examine my motives. i was thinking last night about a show that i ran the sound for. it was a long, draining experience and i felt like i didn't get anything out of it. i didn't get paid, i didn't feel like i got a "job well done" or anything. on the other hand, the show happened. the sound wasn't the best but it was as good as i could do with my skills and the equipment. also, i did get a big opportunity out of it (there was a guy there doing lights and he's got an actual sound company and he invited me to help out at a future gig); i just didn't take the opportunity because i felt weird about calling that guy later (even though he told me to).
so, i did do something good at that show; isn't that enough? and i did get a "job well done" in the form of opportunities to do it more. what's wrong with me?
anyway, just some things i've been thinking about.