musical
ugh. keep drinking and then calling up people late at night. kind of embarrassing, but i still do it even while feeling kind of embarrassed.
my phone is full of people i've never really talked to, opportunities that i didn't follow up on. missed chances, or maybe just chances that weren't ever going to work. but still i hang onto the numbers because i -might- need'em one of these days, and then when i scroll through my phone bok in a moment of loneliness, i see all those missed chances again.
all i know is, life used to be full of a lot more promise than this. i used to look forward to the opportunities that would one day arise. now i know that i won't pursue them, and life is just a depressing march to the end.