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so i keep getting confused, and conflating my feelings about things with each other.
also, i keep feeling like there's some solution to life that is eluding me, no matter how much i sit down and think and really, really focus and furrow my eyebrows. it seems unfair, because what else can i do but put time into it? it is the same with other skills. what else can i do but put forth effort, and yet it's never quite perfect. it's always just a little short. i can't get past this one point in anything. that point being the point where i am good but not as good as i could be.