sleep is not a luxury i can afford
ahhhh why can't i figure this one out? i keep changing back and forth. who am i? what am i? do i want her? yes, yes, but do i want this? when it began, i wasn't sure how i felt. gradually my heart is changing, i am changing perhaps, and the feelings are coming. but how can she have such feelings and yet want nothing more than this?
i am afraid, sometimes, that it isn't really me she wants, but simply somebody, anybody, to hold on to. what is the implication of this? it is that i will let go of these fears and uncertainties, just like i have started to do, and start to be happy about it all the time, and then be let go myself.
but i don't think that's the case. there's no way to know, really. but it isn't fair to accuse her of lying just because of my insecurities.
but it isn't fair that even my skin reminds me of hers, and even the thought of peppermints is enough to drive me to distraction.