and you give yourself away
well, just wanted to update so's no one'd think i was off being depressed or anything.
sometimes i blow things out of proportion. the way i'd put it, the way i normally put it, since i have a tendency to repeat myself in the hopes that the repetition will make everyone pay attention for a moment and realize the profundity of what i'm saying, is that sometimes i get carried away.
so, yes, regarding the "cuddling" incident, it was very nice, but i know with the clarity of hindsight that it is not to be taken as a romantic event. (hmm, do i sound like a textbook? a legal document?) i came to this realization on my bike ride to work this morning. cruising downhill in the sunshine, i thought about how the ride home on friday was just like the ride out there, and when she dropped me off it was simply, "see you later". there was no awkward pausing, no "uh... so... i'll call you?"
yeah, so, i'm a dork. that about sums it up.
that would be a good spot to end, but i just wanted to add that this whole thing is especially embarrassing because it took me so long to come to this conclusion, and because i got so worked up in the first place.
i'd also like to add that it's good that there's no awkward pausing between me and V. may there never be.
now i think i'll write some random poetry in memory of the year that has passed.
in honor founding
a timeline, fed to
bleeding hounds, feeling
equivocal, vocal:he struck the iron,
hot as it was, with
tongs, although the
hammer lay in reach,and he gripped bare-handed
victory, grief, his foe
and friend, his liar
and his lover, red-handedand broken-skinned. he
twisted it. it burned
and writhed, but he
held it, and embraced,and placed his face
against what he feared,
and it grew to engulf
and change him.he was born, burnt to
cinders, but rising from
ashes even yet. he was
scarred, and still is.beauty is a painful name,
but it is true.
blackened and turned,
beautiful still the iron lay,and does not turn
to face itself, even today.
well, i was hoping that'd be more cheerful. what i get for writing spur of the moment, train of thought type nonsense. don't know if it even means anything.
maybe it does.