pomp, and circumstances
i don't really know why i ever try; it seems like i'm destined never to change.
i am on the fence, in the gray area between "good" and "bad". i want to give in totally to one, but i can't give up either of the little pieces that i've taken from both.
went to a wedding tonight. so many thoughts from that. it was a presentation designed to elicit a response from the audience, but there were many little mistakes. i take it as a reminder to the bride and groom that life is full of mistakes and that mistakes reimpose reality onto a perception that's baffled by other peoples' presentations. i didn't tell them that, though. the reception was too weird. all i could do was say, "i can't stay, but congratulations." i didn't really need to go anywhere; i just didn't want to stay.
i had an emotional reaction to the ceremony at times, especially when the bride walked down the aisle. at that momentous moment, to see all the smiling faces of friends and family looking out at you. the groom doesn't have that experience. it seems, though, that he's in a position of power. he arrives first, makes sure things are in order, and then awaits his bride. this reminds me that brides used to be literally given to their grooms.
saw another couple of friends at the wedding. they're recently engaged.
when the bride and groom kissed, it was drawn out and repeated several times. i thought that maybe it is even inappropriate for the bride and groom's first kiss to happen in front of people, to be staged almost like a spectacle for people to hoot at.
i don't know if this desire for appropriateness is really in me or if it's just a lie to myself. i do know that i need to pursue appropriateness.
i also went to a graduation this morning, and like the wedding, the ceremony proper was much shorter than the celebrations afterward. it makes sense, i guess. ceremonies have to happen, as markers in time and as a way to signify the weight of what's happening; but there's no need to make them any longer than necessary.
this is also true of diary entries.