i want everything and nothing
sometimes i don't know how to deal with the big things, or i don't want to, and so i fiddle with the little things, or seek out entertainment to keep my occupied. that's a big reason for my internet addiction i guess. usually can find something to read.
i talk about wanting to improve, but improvement is scary. it's not comfortable and familiar. who knows what's going to happen when you do what you've known you should be doing all this time? the consequences of "shoulds" are often not included in the prompting. it's just, "you should do this." it also sounds good to make general statements without qualification.
where was i? this diary has become a discussion instead of a receptacle.
i don't hang out with people anymore, much. there are always people at my neighbor's house, i could hang out there. i don't want to. the guys in the other band periodically invite me to their house. i don't ever go.
i just want to sleep.